I'm still counting the days. I'm not sure if I'm pregnant or I'm just really late. I've been late the past 2 months. Maybe because of the stress and the fact that my life has changed but I'm worried. I'm worried that even if I do wait a week or so before I take another pregnancy test, I'd just find out I wasn't pregnant and be sad. It's like my body is waiting for the result before it realizes that I have to have my period now.
Depression still comes and goes. Not really jealous anymore... I feel like I can actually go out and meet babies again. Lol. In fact I have been taking pictures of kids again and I don't feel sad when I do.
It's a big step. I need that step especially since I have to go visit Dawn's Baby Tala and be a godmother to Ariana.
I still cry when I go to Nathan but other than that day and the day I thought I was going to have my period, I don't cry anymore. Ok, the crying when I thought I would have my period may have delayed my actual period. I don't know. I feel like I'm in a waiting game. I just wish I knew when it will end. But if I am afraid of finding out the result in the end, I'd rather wait it out. I've accepted the fact that I may not be pregnant anyway. I bought napkins and they are in my bag. I still hold my breath every time I check my underwear though.
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