Friday, December 11, 2009

As Fast As Possible

I was watching this episode of How I Met Your Mother called "As Fast As She Can". It's an episode where ted meets the girl he was supposed to marry but left him in the altar. I ended up crying because of this scene where Stella and Ted talk in the car before they leave each other.

Ted: Okay, I'm going to say something out loud that I've been doing a pretty good job of not saying out loud lately. What you and Tony have, what I thought for a second you and I had, what I know that Marshall and Lily have, I want that. I do. I keep waiting for it to happen. I'm waiting for it to happen and I guess I'm just tired of waiting. And that is all I'm going to say on that subject.
Stella: You know how I talked my way out of a speeding ticket?
Ted: Really?
Stella: I was heading upstate with my parents, I was doing 90 on the country roads. I got pulled over. So this cop, gets out of his car, swaggers over and he says, 'Lady, I've been waiting for you all day.' And I said, 'Sorry Officer, I got here as fast as I could.'
Ted: For real?
Stella: No, it's just a joke. [pause] I know that you're tired of waiting. And you may have to wait a little while more but, she's on her way, Ted. And she's getting here as fast as she can.


I guess in a whole lot of ways I'm like Ted there, I keep waiting for my baby. I feel cheated because I thought I would be able to take raise Nathan but I couldn't. It's hard to wait. I have to go through getting pregnant again and hoping nothing else happens during the 9 months that follow. I have to admit, I'm tired of waiting. I am just getting better at not showing it but I still feel affected by this. Which is probably why this really hit home. At least it gives me hope. I may be tired of waiting but my baby will come. He is coming as fast as he can.

Tuesday, December 8, 2009

my real wishlist

I posted my annual Christmas wishlist in dragonsdontlandhere.blogspot.com but here's my real wishlist for 2009.

1. Hope
2. A safe pregnancy since we will be trying again this month
3. Twins
4. Healthy, normal baby/ies

Is that too much to wish for? I hope not.