A month old

Yesterday you became one month old. I felt happy yesterday. I didn't even know why. I visited the doctor and she was very hopeful. She knows I'll be able to get pregnant again and we will probably be trying soon. Your father and I will be moving into our new home in a few months and we plan to try again then. I wish you would visit us there. I still miss you. We both do. Even at night we sing and talk about you. I want to plant a tree or something. I just don't know if I can have a full grown tree in our new house. I will try it though. If we ever have other children, I want all of them to remember their eldest brother. You make me happy even if right now it seems you're the source of my grief. I only cry because I miss you. You made me, no you make me so happy. At first I was so scared that I will never be as happy as I was before. I was wrong. I just didn't know. I don't have to see you to be happy. I just need to remember you.